Tuesday, 24 March 2009

Lists and the Making Thereof

I awoke this morning and lay in bed for a few moments, putting off getting out of bed. I heard birds singing outside and felt suddenly happy and grateful to be alive in the here and now. It's not often I appreciate the now. I try to, but most of my waking inner monologue consists of lists: the making of and the ticking off of, things that need to be done in the future or have been done and are therefore in the past.

I know I'm not alone in this. Everyone with a family to look after knows that life only works because of the lists. What to eat, when to shop, what to buy, what to book, what toys/bedroom/clothes to sort out, what to research on the internet, what's next at work, where to go at the weekend, what birthday presents to buy, wrap, who's going to what party, after-school activity, sleepover, what child is owed a play-date, who to catch up with after school, work, etc etc etc.

While I think generally that the differences between men and women are mostly exaggerated I believe we are very different when it comes to lists. I know my husband does not have a running list manager always at work in his brain like I do. Granted, he's not very organised in many respects but I know many friends husbands who are more organized don't do the lists either.

Frankly I get fed up with being the list manager. I know the world wouldn't end if I gave up and let lots of the little things slide. But it would hurt the kids a bit and it would hurt me a bit. Forgetting a birthday party, forgetting to have decent food in the fridge for dinner. I guess what I'm really fed up of is not doing the lists but seemingly having to do the major share. My husband will do anything I ask him. He'll drop-off, pick- up, buy food etc. But I have to tell him. Which misses the point. It's not the actual shopping and cooking that annoys me - it's having to think about what to buy and what to cook that gets me down. What I want is not to have to tell him. What I want is for some things to be his responsibility.

I don't really see a way out though so I shall continue I guess. I do draw the line at some things though. I don't send cards or buy presents for his family or friends on birthdays etc. I figure that's definitely his responsibility. (They pretty much never get presents.)

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